Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Kenny Everett Lives!

At least I’m assuming he does, ‘cause the latest emissions from the Pink Wedge bear his hallmark eye for the absurd. They’ve come out – as it were - against legislation they’ve spent years pushing. They’ve finally noticed that there’s no obvious way to draw up legislation imposing a right for 16 botty bandits to goose step into the Dog & Duck and claim it for the Republic of Rumpramming without similarly creating a right for persons of the straight type to enter the Blue Oyster Bar.

The technical term for the above observation is ‘blindingly obvious’, but it passed them by until about two minutes ago, at which point all the queeny hysterics previously dedicated to pushing this legislation was suddenly switched to opposing it. Not that they’re bigots, oh no, they’re just worried about gay bashers. Funnily enough, the landlord of the White Lion isn’t prejudiced either, he’s just worried about one of his regulars being sexually harassed by a passing Tory MP, but when he says that he gets called a Nazi.

Still, the Pink Wedge is left with trying to find a way to explain why schools should be forced to expose pupils to publicly-funded gay propaganda, but folks down the Swinging Stallion shouldn’t be exposed to the sight of badly-dressed blokes. This is where we are in the Culture Wars. These people have spent years banging on about their desire for equality, yet now they’re suddenly demanding special treatment. Who’d have thunk it ?

Well, yes, plenty of us actually. It has been quite obvious for years that the Pink Wedge’s attachment to equality has been purely tactical. Consider, for example, the legal harassment of pensioners who ask for equal prominence for gay and Christian literature in council offices. No complaints from the Pink Wedge there. That is important because Prince David has dedicated a lot of time to grovelling to the Pink Wedge – indeed, the whole gay rights thing seems to be Opus Dave’s very own litmus test, but this whole policy is based on two really stupid myths: that there is some kind of moral case for their argument, and that Cameron need only find a magic formula and the Pink Wedge will flock towards his banner.

Forget it - the Pink Wedge isn’t motivated by any particular vision of ‘equality’; it’s just another special interest group. There will be no point at which they decide ‘hey, things are going pretty well, let’s fold out tents and get a life’. Or to put it another way, Cameron can feed the crocodile all it wants, but that won’t stop it shedding tears about how badly it’s been oppressed.

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